Are you struggling to find a good partner? Feeling like all the decent men have disappeared?
You’re not alone. I totally get it – been there, done that. But I made a bunch of changes to the way I approached dating and how I was picking men, with the result that I met a lovely guy when I was 50. We married when I was 53. Now I’m on a mission to help other midlife women find their main man.
So, if finding a great partner is going to be high on your list for 2025, I have 5 suggested changes to make for success in dating. And don’t worry, if you’re younger, or you’re not looking for a male partner, the tips will be useful for you too!
Change #1: Embrace positivity
Come at dating with a friendly, open attitude, where you assume people have good intentions (unless they have traits that indicate otherwise!). When you expect to meet great people, you naturally attract them.
If you find yourself saying things like, “all the men I meet seem to be players – there are no decent ones”, you’ll find it hard to notice the good men - even when they’re right in front of you. You also won’t be making yourself very approachable or appealing to men who could actually make you happy.
The truth? There are great guys (and women) out there. Shift your perspective, try a positive, friendly approach and you’ll be far more likely to find them.
Change #2: Try a new routine
You could walk a different route to work, take a different train, pop into a different cafe for your morning coffee, try a different gym – you get the idea. By changing our routines slightly, we can put ourselves into contact with a whole load of new people. This increases our chances of coming across and connecting with a good partner.
Change #3: Take on board the new dating culture
Gone are the days where women needed to be coy and play hard to get. And if you’ve been reading “the Rules” you might want to chuck it in the bin.
In the age of #MeToo, the good, respectful men have taken note - they’re not going to be pushy or overbearing. The ones who do come on too strong? They’re more likely to be narcissist types or players.
If you “play hard to get” with the good guys though, they may think you’re not interested and simply move on. So, make yourself approachable to good men! Smile at a man you’re interested in and make eye contact. Respond positively when they talk to you, and don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation or find other ways to make a first move yourself!
Change #4: Prioritise time for dating
I know you’re a busy woman juggling a hundred things. But if you want to maximise your chances of finding a good man for a great relationship, you will have to carve out a chunk of time for this too. You’ll need time for actually going out on dates!
It might seem a lot and we women, in particular, have a habit of prioritising other people over our own needs. But think how much difference a good relationship will make in your life. Not only will you be a whole lot happier, but it’ll hugely enhance your emotional capital – and that means you’ll have so much more to give to others, and so much more energy and time for ALL the important things in your life.
Resolution #5: Bite the bullet with online dating
Let’s face it, most of us tend to hate the idea of online dating but if we’re going to find our man, we’re going to have to look for him. We need to create opportunities to meet men. This includes the online stuff.
You can actually enjoy online dating – it is possible! The key is to stop wasting time on the wrong guys. Drop them, move on, and focus on engaging with friendly, genuine men. Dating should be fun!
If a man opens with a generic, low-effort message that says nothing about you, chances are he’s copy-pasting it to multiple women and isn’t serious about a real connection or proper relationship.
And when you do start chatting, keep it moving - you only need 4 or 5 messages back and forth before it’s time to meet up or at least have a video call. If he’s not up for that? That’s your cue to move on.
Online dating can and does work! It’s the most common way my clients find their lovely partners. You just have to know how to do it right!
So, if you can put some of these changes into practice in this coming year there’s every chance that 2025 will be the year that you get together with your fabulous partner!
Dr Mairi is the founder of egg listed business, Dating Evolved. She specialises in helping women over 50 find great relationships, using a scientific, practical approach. Sign up for her FREE MASTERCLASS, or check out her work and other free resources at datingevolved.com.
